Having personally experienced Complex Trauma, I understand the challenges individuals face when breaking free from trauma induced isolation and loneliness. For years, I was trapped in a dark fog of anxiety, alcohol overuse, chronic pain, and excessive amounts of prescription pain medication. Despite raising happy, healthy children and maintaining a seemingly successful career, I felt a deep sense of emptiness. The trauma had numbed my emotions, making it difficult to connect with others and experience genuine joy.
What is Trauma?
Trauma is a deeply personal experience that can have a profound impact on our lives. It often involves a distressing event or series of events that overwhelms our ability to cope. While the term "trauma" is often associated with events like accidents, domestic violence, and life threatening medical emergencies, it can also encompass less obvious experiences such as emotional neglect, discrimination, chronic stress, betrayal or loss of a loved one.
For a deeper dive into the complexities of trauma, I highly recommend checking out Meghan Scanlon's insightful blog post, "Trauma is Not in the Event." She offers a unique perspective on the subjective nature of trauma.
When Trauma and Loneliness Collide
Loneliness and trauma often intertwine, creating a vicious cycle that can significantly impact a person's ability to recover from the physical and psychological damage. When traumatic experiences lead to emotional withdrawal, it makes it difficult to form meaningful relationships. Isolation turns to loneliness, which exacerbates the effects of trauma, creating a self-perpetuating downward spiral. When we are caught in this cycle, our perspective can become so limited that it's difficult to see a way out on our own.
My Healing Journey Started with Somatic Therapy
It wasn't until I discovered somatic therapy that I began to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It was 2016 and I was in grad school. During this period of time I learned about the intricate connection between the body and mind, and how trauma can manifest in physical symptoms. I also discovered that there are countless therapeutic modalities, and finding the right one often requires trial and error, guided by intuition. Somatic therapy helped me to address the physical manifestations of trauma and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
The first couple of years of my healing journey were spent in isolation due to graduate school commitments. However, the loneliness didn't stop there. The most difficult part of my journey began when I didn't have an excuse to isolate anymore but still struggled to form authentic connections with others. The emotional numbing and fear of vulnerability that had accompanied my trauma made it difficult to open up and trust people. It was only through continued somatic therapies that I began to rebuild my capacity for intimacy and connection.
When you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel
I know firsthand the pain and isolation that can accompany trauma and loneliness. It's a dark place to be, but I want you to know that healing is possible. The journey may be challenging, but it's worth it.
One thing I wish I had known earlier is the importance of raising our vibration by cultivating positivity, gratitude, and self-compassion, and releasing all blame and shame. It's really about heart-centered living. When we're deep in the throes of trauma and loneliness, the idea of "raising your vibration" might seem impossible, laughable, and honestly, insulting. I remember feeling trapped in a cycle of shame and self-doubt, convinced that I would never find peace or happiness.
When I was at my lowest point, I realized that I needed to prioritize my own healing and seek professional help. I've worked with a variety of incredible therapists, healers, and coaches, and I understand the importance of finding the right fit. A genuine connection is essential in the healing process. A good practitioner will create a safe and supportive space where you can open up and share your experiences without judgment.
Are you ready to take the next step on your healing journey?
Prioritize your well-being and invest in yourself, so that you can live a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling life. Schedule a free information session today to learn about my transformational coaching services. This is a 30-45 minute information session and includes a mini Brainspotting or Psych-K session.